Mission: Impossible

by Louise Hector

I’m not quite as passionate as Darren about defending those animals regarded as pests. Except when it comes to the grey squirrel. I get so angry when I hear people talking about culling them or perpetuating the ridiculous notion that they aren’t native wildlife. Of course they weren’t originally indigenous to the UK but they’ve been part of our environment for so long that they should now be completely accepted as British mammals.

Of course – like good Britishers we have dealt with the grey squirrel menace by passing laws. According to our new Deputy PM Nick Clegg there is a law on the statute book which makes it an offence not to report the presence of a grey in your garden. And did you know that you can use warfarin as a pesticide to kill the grey (it’ll kill them, it just won’t be of thrombosis).

The grey squirrel is a daily visitor to our gardens and parks and their acrobatics in stealing food from bird feeders can be both amusing and really impressive. Like a mini Tom Cruise this mummy grey is scurrying across the garden finding food for her babies. So my mission impossible is to get the good people of Britain to embrace the grey squirrel and love it for the intelligent, resourceful and downright cute creature that it really is.